One of my neighbors just told me a story. Mark explained that the police regularly stop him. Mark is a person of color. Recently he was treated particularly badly and disrespectfully during one of those stops. My guess is that Mark is targeted due to the fact he is not white. After he was released (he was more or less “held” by the police as they searched his car) he returned home and did something astounding. He sat in meditation and “floated the cop on a lotus flower”.
Holy Crap! Isn’t that marvelous?????
After he told me the story, I said, “You floated that cop on a lotus because you didn’t want to suffer.” He smiled the biggest widest “you totally get it neighbor” smile because he knew he was speaking to someone who actually grocks the concept of loving kindness/compassion practice (please don’t read that I am particularly good at it, but I do understand it!). In my world, I guess I “float” folks on a “lotus” when I practice Metta meditation:
May you be safe
May you be happy
May you be free from suffering
May you be filled with loving kindness
Mark high-fived me after I pointed out the obvious. Practicing this kind of loving kindness meditation allows me to suffer less. The work allows for the “other” not to be the enemy. It was great to have one of those human moments where understanding abides.
This connection with Mark and his story turned out to be a really useful place to land over and over again this last week as I traversed the landmines of some really intense emotional outfall. I sort of needed to locate an armada of floating lotus flowers to float a boatload of folks. The real thing is this…. I no longer have the bandwidth to suffer for very long.
I know I’m not alone in this “I don’t want to suffer” thing.
So here’s what I know to do:
Float ‘em on a lotus.
This has got to be the way in….
This could mean a variety of things. Yep, using Mark’s method is probably really, really, really smart. There are other things that make up my lotus floating toolkit, too.
Metta Meditation – floating ‘em on a lotus, may I be filled with loving kindness,, may you be filled with loving kindness, may we all be filled with loving kindness.
Show up in Kindness – To the best of my ability, I showed up in as much kindness to myself this past week. I also practiced turning my thoughts to those I could help.
Time Well Spent – I spent time alone this week, time with my therapist, time with a few people who love me no matter what and really get me and their own understanding of emotion in their own personal relationships with the world.
Dog is my Co-Pilot – I spent a crap ton of time with my dog because you know what, my dog could care less whether I had a hard week because she lives TOTALLY IN THE NOW. Talk about living in the present – no wonder I love dogs.
Move my Body – I exercised – every damn day this last week. And hard. I pushed weights around, I ran on trails, I hiked miles and miles, I climbed virtual hills in spin class, and I got on the mat and stretched, balanced, held my entire body weight up on my arms, and practiced standing poses to feel my feet really touching the ground. Really touching the ground… there it is, the ground and I am grounded.
Breathe My Way In – I breathed. I breathed intentionally. Probably good to say something from a Kinesiologist’s point of view – dysfunctional breathing patterns are one of the most common suboptimal movement patterns. We learn to breathe as a baby and it is a smooth big belly breath called diaphragmatic breathing. Sometimes when, as adults, we become injured (physically or emotionally), we change that breathing pattern to a chest breathing pattern. This can be ignited from a fight or flight response in the nervous system, it can also trigger a fight or flight response, or hold us in that pattern of heightened stress response. Yoga has its finger on the pulse here…. The art of breathing is a way to deepen our nervous system response in a very positive way, for both physical movement and emotional well being.
Know when to Speak – I held my tongue. A lot. Sometimes it’s just better not to share. Makes listening to myself and others more valuable.
Gratitude – I practiced gratitude, noticing the beauty of the woods around me, the coldness of the water in the creek, how damn green everything is, the morning birdsong, the clouds over the hill across the way, and the smiles of those in my life. Gratitude practice allows me to be more present, to feel the support and beauty around me, to acknowledge that all in all, I have an amazing life. Simply amazing.
So, why do I share this with you?
Being human can sometimes feel really fragile. Building our toolkit, remembering what is in it, and then actually using it can support us in moving THROUGH something, because dammit, I have never managed to just get around things. Ultimately, I need to go “in” in order to move through.
I’d love to hear about your toolkit. How do you personally maneuver emotional fallout? Have you ever floated anyone on a lotus?
